I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
