and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize