I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
