i already hear my dad disowning me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
