i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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