i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
