when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Did I show you my penis last night?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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