The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
