if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
