You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
