Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
