The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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