Can Purell be used as lube?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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