hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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