If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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