I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
