i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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