I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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