Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize