well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
