we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
