I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
