when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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