im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
