who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
