Im at strip club and am horny
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
