I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
