Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
