I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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