it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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