Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
