we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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