I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
