Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
