Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
