Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize