i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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