i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
