marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
