Duck Duck Cougar?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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