I wish I could punch you in the face.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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