I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
