he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
