never play flip cup with pint glasses
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
