meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
