Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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