He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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