You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
