Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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