The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
smell my finger.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
