there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
