i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
