What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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