were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My bed smells like the plague
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
