Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
